SEX and LOVE: THE MERGER

Posted by Quinn in Intimacy, Love, Sex

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Every man and every woman (unless vowed to celibacy) believes that they are an “Expert" on the subject of sex! Why do you think this is, given that there is so much infidelity, and couple counseling?

As a hairdresser, I have inadvertently counseled women for over 30 years, simply by listening. The story was always the same. And so I am going to share with you, things you may not know. Stories I heard from you!

Sex. What is its purpose? Through much of time until recent years, society taught that it was for procreation, only. How ignorant, when both men and women knew  there was so much more to experience.

Sex is the outward physical manifestation of the inward longing for intimacy. Intimacy is what we humans are looking to experience in relationship to one another.

Unfortunately what the sexual revolution ignited, was sex 'gone wild'. Suddenly everything became sex-y, while we became confused. 

From ancient times, to our present day's sexual exploitation, something has gone very awry in the bedroom. Tribes of Arabs, Africans, and sometimes Indigenous communities, practiced circumcision on women so as to remove any and all pleasure for the woman; leaving her instead to experience only pain through intercourse. Which, by the way, was intended to keep the woman faithful while men went off to hunt, to war, or who knows where. Present day discoveries of child molestation, and the abuse of women, lead us to understand that these abnormal practices inflicted on the innocent, have been around since the beginning of time; and therefore have contributed to the emotional and physical impediments of women and their quest for pleasure with their partner.

It is in the bedroom, so to speak, that trust, tenderness, love, intimacy, and bonding are supposed to take place. Once these important human needs are met, pleasure can then be introduced into the intimacy of the couple, never the other way around!

But if sexual pleasure is all a man or woman are looking to experience, then what has actually been created between the couple is the exploitation of both. Nothing has been nurtured, embraced, or loved. Who could possibly marry the magic of love and sex under these circumstances?

Couples, who look beyond their love bed for pleasure, satisfaction, or validation, really need to look within themselves to better understand why sex is not the fireworks they believed it should be.

There are two very important secrets about women that men rarely know, and therefore never find the key to tap into the sexual power all women have the ability to bring to the relationship:

-       Explicit understanding of the female anatomy

-       The importance of loving a woman who first has embraced/learned to love herself

The sad truth in these two secrets men rarely know, is that the women themselves rarely know it either. Nothing, other than a complete mess, could result from this scenario!

Personal and private exploration is a vital key to understanding ourselves so that we can relay those findings to our partner. Self-love, self-acceptance, self-knowledge, and a healthy self-image is an important foundation between lovers.

If we enter a relationship with the hopes of finding self-validation before we have embraced it ourselves, we are not going to find it. And guess what the end result in the bedroom will be? That’s right. No fireworks!

Just a final word on personal-sexual exploration.

-       Women, if you are finding more personal satisfaction with a vibrator than with your partner, you might wonder why? Unless your man can vibrate himself he is not going to be able to compete with the rhythm you have come to depend on.  Vibrators, used over time, begin to deaden the nerve endings, making it increasingly more difficult to reach orgasm.

-       Men, no woman can possibly move her hand or her hips as fast as you can move your hand. She can’t feel what you are feeling! Try to find ways during your personal exploration that mimic the movement of another human being, not a cocktail shaker! 

-       Personal exploration with the intent to imitate what would be natural when shared between two people, will make private time more advantageous for shared time.

Since women have the more complex anatomy, further exploration of her unseen body parts is suggested. For this reason, I dedicated an entire section of a book I have published that offers exciting insight: Confessions of a Hairdresser. 

A successful and fun research project with a group of five hairdressers was executed for the sole purpose of analyzing, discovering, and satisfying every woman’s desire for greater satisfaction with her partner.

In the chapters entitled “Something Unknown” individual exercises and their findings were explored, and then discussed with the group. After a period of time, each of the women were able to find their own G-spot and its full potential. These abilities of a woman's anatomy are rarely discussed, even though they are a very real intention of the female body. 

Sex and Love? In today’s world that uses sex to sell nearly everything from cars to toothpaste, it is no wonder why love and intimacy have been left out of the bedroom. But, if the interconnection of both sex and love are what you would like to claim for yourself, you will want to know what these five hairdressers discovered! 

Check out Confessions of a Hairdresser on Amazon.

It was written for you!